A couple of weeks ago I was in a serious auto accident. My new BMW (GREAT CAR for the safety conscious) was totaled. I spent a lovely evening in a hospital being prodded, poked, medicated and fitted with a cast from fingers to left elbow protecting a hand with multiple bone fractures.
On Monday, March 6, I had surgery on my hand at the USC Medical Center an absolutely great place. It is kind of interesting to wake up from the anesthesia before the surgery is done and hear the docs debating how they are going to repair the worst break either has ever seen. On Wednesday, I headed to NYC complete with new cast, to do the reunion show. It's not much fun going through security trying to carry your bags with one broken hand in a cast and another that is sprained. Fortunately, this really nice actor from Lost waited for me to get through security and then carried my bags to my plane. Who was my favorite night in shining armor? Naveen Andrews.
Here is a gossip column blurb from NYC:
"Last Thursday evening at Downtown Ciprianni (376 West Broadway), George Clooney was seen dining with his buddies, but seemed more interested in someone sitting just across the aisle from him. Responding warmly to George's apparent interest was Beth Stolarczyk, MTV's reigning Real World diva. She was in town for taping of the Reunion Show of the season's number one rated cable hit, "Real World/Road Rules Challenge: Gauntlet 2." Clooney seemed particularly interested in the cast on Stolarczyk's left hand, earned following a car accident in LA the previous week. Both parties walked out of the restaurant together and were seen talking outside."
Where are the paparazzi when you need them? (Actually, they were there when we went into the restaurant.)
The Reunion taping took place on Friday. Twelve of us were together in the Green Room where we watched the final two episodes before the taping started. It was an all-afternoon event that will, sadly, be edited only to a half-hour to be shown following the season finale. I wish I could tell you about it, but I can't. After it airs, I'll be able to tell you what was edited out. There was some dirty laundry aired, accusations hurled and quickly denied, many explanations given and fewer believed. Some people came clean with their agendas and others probably regretted attending at all. I sat in the middle of the second row between Derrick and Kina, with a ring side seat to everything that was said. Some of it was pure comedy and some was just laughable.
People have asked if I'm going to write anything about the episodes after I left Tobago. What I've tried to do all season is to give you a behind-the-scenes perspective each week. I'd love to have something wise or witty to say about these three episodes, but I've simply been a viewer just like all of you. I'll save all my final thoughts for next week.
Beth’s commentaries are protected by copyright @ StarChick LLC and KGS Productions, Inc. You can request permission to copy portions of a commentary for posting on Internet sites by contacting firstname.lastname@example.org.
What the F???????
I've usually thought the editing on Gauntlet 2 was pretty fair. I think the editors have usually done an excellent job in telling the story. Tonight, however, there were a few things taken out of context and time sequence that do make a difference. If you take things out of the order they happened, it gives a different meaning; so I have to call out a few things.
NUMBER 1- When you see me crying outside, that is the night Syrus left, which was several shows earlier. I was emotional that night because Syrus is a very good friend in my personal life. That was the night when I overheard Aneesa and the peanut gallery talking about me. I confronted Aneesa, and when I did, she nearly sh** her pants. She had nothing to say.
NUMBER 2- I was vocal in the house and with the team about never doing “beach brawl” if it came down to me doing this in the gauntlet. This is why Aneesa went crazy when the wheel landed on beach brawl. She knew if the wheel landed on either Beach Brawl or Challenger’s Choice, that I would not participate. The producers knew it as well. When we got to the Gauntlet, they did a retake three times which really pissed me off. They weren't getting the reaction they wanted out of me so they did retakes. This is the first time I personally experienced this.
I doesn’t really matter what people think of me. I do what's best for me and never fall for peer pressure. I hope many of you are the same way.
I've known all along, my team didn't have a chance and we didn't deserve to win the money because we didn't play it to win. People on my team were playing for popularity, for who they could drink with, have sex with, and maybe do other stuff with. I don't have respect for this. Never have-Never will.
BEACH BRAWL- I've witnessed this with Derrick and Ace and then Derrick and Syrus. It was ugly and bloody. I didn't think I was on the Jerry Springer show, so it was time for me to go. As I said on the After Show and made clear to the producers, this gauntlet was degrading to women and I wouldn't do it. I know not everyone will agree with my decision. In the end, I KNOW it wasn't worth fighting for. We weren't going to win and the best thing I could do to get revenge on my team was to keep Aneesa there. It is my departing strategy, and I know it will work and my team will fail. It's very easy for Aneesa to run her mouth after the fact, because she knew I wasn't going to compete. Note to all: When I confronted her, she couldn't say anything to me.
I’m an extremely emotional person. If I were scared or upset you would know it and BMP would have the footage to show you. This is something I don't hide well. I was tired of fighting and being villianized for nothing. So when it landed on Beach Brawl, I was ready to make my exit. I was excited to screw my “team” and give them what they deserved. I was happy to leave and get back to my real life to the people I care about the most. That is what's worth fighting for........
A few final thoughts: T.J., I’m sorry this near-gauntlet took three takes. That was the best you had in you? You knew I was not “quitting” but had made clear that I would not do anything I regarded as demeaning. In my circle of friends, that is known as standing by one’s principles. Just keep reading the cue cards; don’t think, and certainly don’t ever take a women’s studies course. You are as sensitive as one of Brad’s farts. I thought of calling you a boring robot. That would be as unkind as some treated me on this challenge, so I’ll just hope you develop more if you ever do this again.
As far as Brad's comments on the After Show go.-- Brad, I’m sorry that you are so shallow you can't see beyond people you get drunk with and get high with, smoke with, etc. Maybe if you got to know me as a person, you could honestly judge me. But that didn't happen, did it?
I’ve already been hearing a lot about Julie in this episode. I’ve not liked what I saw, and it does appear two-faced on the surface; but, you have to keep in mind that when Julie is around the “alliance” which she is not a part of, she needs to keep her strategy in tact.
I am interested to see what some of these other cast members will bring to the table now that I am not around for them to talk about and use to get their mugs on camera. It seems a few in this cast members left their personalities at home for this challenge. Maybe the producers will dig deep into their bag of trick and show us all some of those things that made me worthy of the comments I’ve endured from the cast during the past 12 episodes. Personally, I don’t think they exist.
Most importantly, my final thoughts go out tonight to the many fans, who have shown me such unexpected and warm loyalty since the beginning of this challenge. Honestly, I didn’t know you were out there. Your kind words, encouragement and advice for future challenges have been more welcome than you can ever know. “Evil Beth,” “Queen Beth” and the real Beth can never say “thanks” enough.
I think I was completely honest from the beginning when I said this challenge would be difficult for me. It’s funny that everyone is commenting on how I suck, which is true in this mission; but, why didn't these guys point out when other people sucked in previous missions. Example- Coconuts Mission that we lost -- Aneesa and Montana dropped coconuts; Rickshaw Race -- Robin walked. Why didn't the guys yell at these women? Interesting...
If I didn't try, believe me, I would tell you. I have no reason to lie. It was hard. Even climbing that ladder was a bitch. It’s something I’ve never done and it took most of my strength just to figure out how to do that. When I was done, I looked like a battered woman. I had so many bruises from the ladder and from the tires. But you know what, we ended up winning. But Brad, David, and Timmy who tried to form an alliance with the other team don’t trust me. Hmmmmmmm... Are they projecting onto me because they are trying to deflect attention away from their scandal? I THINK SO!
This challenge is getting old for me. I've been here for a month now and I’m sick of fighting and feeling like I have to constantly prove my innocence or worth. I am always guilty until I prove myself otherwise.
The veterans have already destroyed the team. As far as I go, I want the Rookies to win. They are playing the game better and they deserve to win, period. Just from the Brad, David, Timmy scandal, we deserve to lose. We lost Ruthie, and we also lost Adam, thanks to Derrick! Derrick is an ass. I hope someone takes him out. He's got some karma coming to get him, I hope!!!!!
For some who look for hidden meaning in my blogs, let me be clear: In this mission, I suck. Fortunately, so does Ibis and for once, so does unbeatable Alton (I just suck a lot worse that him). If this had been a women’s gauntlet, and had I not already been the captain, I would have deserved to be voted into the gauntlet.
I have been asked to participate in the reunion show, and I'll definitely have some questions for my “team.”
Not in this lifetime, David...
First, a few messages to my "friends:"
Brad, you will never be a doctor. I'm not a cancer, I'm the Ebola virus.
Timmy, you know better. I'm surprised.
David, not if you were the last man on the planet. By the way, how are the police treating you in Wilmington? I hope the cuffs weren't too tight. see the arrest
Cara, thanks for the revelation on the "After Show." So while David and Brad are trashing me, and riding my coattails for airtime, they are secretly plotting to form an alliance with the rookies. Will anyone ever trust you two again? Does anyone remember when just a couple of episodes back Brad says that he felt "violated" at the mere suggestion of his involvement in a conspiracy to form an alliance? Brad, if you want to feel violated, spend a day on the challenge in my shoes. Is your hypocrisy boundless?
How can I be hurting team morale or be a cancer when you two are forming an alliance with the other team to get rid of the girls on your team? If up to this point during the challenge, I had done or said anything that could prove your statements, or that could be twisted to make that point, would not BMP have shown it?
I'm not a difficult person to figure out. If you treat me like a team player, then I'll be one. If you turn against me, then I'm going to turn against you. That's why the Veterans' situation is such a mess. I have to laugh at the thought of David and Brad criticizing me as team captain when they are the one's responsible for putting me in this position. From the very beginning, if you had valued Ruthie so much, then given the logic you used for putting men into the Gauntlet, you would have put Robin against Ruthie. (Robin, I love you. It's not about you; it's about them and their double standard of convenience.) If not robin, then at least aneesa or montana who were really worthless physically. The truth is they didnt give a damn about Ruthie, team morale or anything else other than themselves, so spare me the team morale crap.
Can the team captain step forward and take credit for a successful strategy? The episode showed Mark commenting that it was not a strength mission. The strategy we used in leveraging our body weight and holding the rope was mine and it worked. We didn't just edge out the rookies, we beat them soundly. Hey, fellow veterans, how about a little credit thrown toward your "cancerous" captain?
No matter what Cara said in her interviews during the episode, it's her time to go home. We all know it. When you room with both captains from the other team, you get a clear sense of their team dynamic. The rookies have a strong team at this point, and they know where their only problem lies: Cara and Susie. One of them must go to split them up. We knew it would be Cara. I can't fault Kina for her choice. The only thing I regret is that the rookies came to their decision before we veterans could implement our plan to makes signs that said, "Get the Hef out of here!" Yes, Cara did talk all the time about being in Playboy.
The fight between Kina and Cara is extremely physical, with Kina ripping off Cara's bra strap at one point (but not to worry, the silicon stays firmly in place!) We are all cheering for Kina (except for Susie), even David, Brad and Timmy who want Cara gone so their alliance efforts are not further exposed. The episode makes it look like Cara quits, but she fights really hard. Kina is just tougher and wants it more.
First, this challenge is hard because Captain Derrick doesn’t know what he is doing. No one does—including me (remember me, the one who didn’t want to be Captain?). We have no plan, and no one tries to put a plan together. We are all just pulling and tugging without useful results. We are exhausted because it’s about 115 degrees with 100% humidity. Timmy doesn't even have a plan, which is surprising. We never looked to Derrick for a plan. It is always Timmy who is naturally in command.
Thirty minutes pass and we get nowhere. Now we go up. I want to be in between two people so I won’t fall off. But they put me on the end. So I am leaning forward onto Julie so I won’t fall off. I am getting nervous because the rookies are getting us rocking and they aren't stopping. We aren't getting a break. I am praying that I won’t get knocked off and better yet, please let it be anyone but Syrus.
The horn blows; we have a person down. It’s Syrus. The unfortunate thing is that it doesn’t really matter who falls off, because the guys are going to make sure Syrus goes in next. That is their plan. This just makes it easier for them to justify voting Syrus into the Gauntlet.
This Gauntlet is even harder to watch than was Ace and Derrick’s. This is much more violent. They were pulling at each other’s necks and playing really dirty. TJ isn’t doing anything to break it up. This lasts for about 30 minutes – about two on TV! They both are bleeding and bruised at the end. Syrus gets a back injury. Derrick’s back is also messed up and he needs to be seen by the doctor. I just don’t understand how they could allow something so dangerous. I would never do this. NEVER! I keep covering up my eyes and turning away because it is so brutal, so brutal MTV doesn’t show those parts. Either T.J. or the producers should have really stepped in and set some ground rules for safety. But that’s OK, because the baby oil makes it all safe… (insert sarcasm)… right.
Syrus and I are pretty close. We first met back in 1997 when we were doing the first real world challenge. Everyone was staying in my place by the beach and Sean from Boston called Syrus to come by. Syrus rolled up in his black Bronco. He also had a black pit bull. We immediately became friends. He is such a warm, loving person. He's fun to be around and easy to talk to. I trust Syrus, and if he needs me for anything, I'll be there for him. I've leaned on him in the past. He's been a great friend. He is the one person on this island who makes me feel safe and secure. And now he's gone. This was rough for me. I really don't want to be here without him. Its hard being isolated and not be able to talk to anyone you can really trust. I’ve always vented to Syrus. I really had wanted to leave when Ruthie voted me into the Gauntlet and Syrus talked me into seeing it through. He gave me a reason to want to stay and fight back.
Where does Syrus’ departure leave me?
Emotionally, I just don't want to be in this game anymore. It's getting hard for me to hang on. I know we aren't going to win because my team is so messed up. We’ve lost players we needed and saved people who should be gone. We deserve to lose. I’m sorry, but we do.
Is this fair criticism?
Now let’s notice that Derrick who weighs about 150 lbs beat Ace who is about 200 lbs and Syrus who is about 230 lbs. How is it that he can get the job done, but Ruthie gets a free pass from people because she couldn't win against me? I sense a double standard.
And Montana claims I weighed 20 pounds more than she? What crap! We weigh the same. I said in the show (Rickshaw Race) that I weighed the most because I was trying to get exempt so Montana would have to compete. It was a strategy. I wanted to clear this up with everyone. Montana vs. Beth is a fair fight. We are the same height and weight.
Beth Kicks and Drags Montana's Fat Ass
Okay, I’m a bit puzzled by the edit. I feel they definitely show Montana’s point of view, but they don't show any video to really explain where I’m coming from and what is going through my head. But, heck, that’s why I write this stuff so I can give you my perspective.
First of all, I’m the captain (QUEEN BETH) because my team screwed up and made this a popularity club instead of thinking of how to really play the game as a team to win the money at the end. The rookies know how to play the game. This is how they are consistently playing the game even with the little “alliance” issue, and I commend them for it. Can I wish I were on their team!
Do I think I’m the best player on my team? No. Do I think I’m the worst player on my team? No.
The person that should have gone to the gauntlet against Ruthie to begin with was Aneesa. In terms of performance, the next person should have been Montana, and then it would be a toss up between Robin, Katie and me. Julie is by far the strongest girl on my team so she would never be a consideration.
BUT THIS ISN’T THE PLAN... Because it's a popularity club, and my team will never ever treat me like a part of the team, or treat me with respect, so I have to do what I have to do to stay in the game. The majority clearly doesn’t want me here in the end. And do they really think I don't know they are talking shit about me? PLEASE – I’m smarter than that.
I’m not happy about being captain. I never wanted the position. I begged them not to do it. Aneesa has Asthma. She can't run. She has no stamina. Even if she could do something well, after 5 minutes she would pass out. For the final mission, how will she help? Anyway, in this episode, everyone is complaining that I’m the captain. Tough shit. It’s your fault and if you are miserable I can’t help being a little bit happy about it because you put me in this situation. As captain on the female gauntlet days, I know I have to worry about going into the gauntlet and being prepared mentally and physically.
We show up to the challenge and I know immediately that this is a mission very few will complete and actually score a point for either side. The women on my team fell almost as soon as they stood on the ropes. So I’m the last to go and I stand out on the ropes a few times with Timmy. I immediately know I'm not going to make it across. Of course, MTV doesn’t really show us talking about this. Why should I risk falling and possibly hurting myself when the logic is that I will have to go into the Gauntlet? That would be really stupid on my part. MTV didn’t show everyone fall, and some others who did took nasty spills. Getting injured and then going into the gauntlet against Montana is not my plan.
If this were a loving, supportive team who I knew had my back, then maybe, even if I knew I wasn't gonna’ make it, MAYBE I would risk the injury potential. This is not the situation, so I guess Beth will be taking care of Beth. Just because I didn't fall into the water doesn't mean I didn't try.
Montana’s interview comments make me laugh. She has contributed zero performance to the team and she is constantly saying I suck? At least I've helped out. At least I can run a quarter mile. Hell, I can run five miles if I have to. She has to run her mouth about me to cover up the fact that she sucks. If she wants camera time, what else can she do except talk about me? She dropped coconuts in the first mission, didn't run or compete in the relay race, and, wait, was that Montana pushing the truck and catching up with the rookies last week when we were so far behind? NO - It was I. BETH!!!!!!
So, we obviously lose and I’m ready to go to the Gauntlet. My team is so screwed up that they would rather keep Montana than me. This continues to add fuel to my fire. So they vote in Montana. Hello, you know I’m gonna kick her ass!!!! That was too easy for me. We are the same size and yet she later makes an excuse, saying I’m 20 pounds heavier. HA HA HA... I can't stop laughing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We are the same size. Montana is a smoker and has absolutely no muscle tone, so she doesn't have much to work with. Whatever gets you through the night, Montana. I can beat you in ANYTHING, anytime.
Now my team is miserable, and I’m happy because they want me to be miserable; but, while they are complaining, I am squeezing lemons and making lemonade. If they want me to be miserable and aren't going to play fair with me, then I will mirror that same behavior back to them. Chances are I won't be here to win the money at the end – a prospect set in stone since some people arrived here with there alliance. But you know what? I am well aware they are trying to take me down and while they are doing this, I may be able to take down others before I go. They can pay the price in the end. What's fair is fair.
Interview with Beth
by The Cabana Boy
CB: Where did the Reality Stars calendar concept originate?
Beth: I was walking through a book store one day, looking for a gift to buy for someone, and I realized that there were no really cool calendars. I thought it would be a great idea to do a calendar for all the reality TV fans. I first thought about doing the men's calendar because I thought Eric Nies was so hot. I thought if I wanted to see Eric Nies in a calendar that other people would agree. That is were it started.
CB: Were they any truly memorable moments from the calendar shoot?
Beth: It was definitely a lot of fun and overwhelming at the same time. There were a lot of different things going on. I was dealing with the calendar crew, the VH-1 crew, and press all at the same time. But it was really cool to see people from all the different shows interacting together: who liked each other, who hated each other, and who ended up hooking up. (Editor's note: I asked but she wouldn't tell)
CB: One of the things that has been said about you is that you are not a strong competitor. Are people going to be seeing a different side of you on TV soon?
Beth: People are definitely going to be seeing a different side of me. I've never been eliminated from an MTV "Challenge" because I was in last place. The only reason I've been eliminated, and the only reason that people go after me to get rid of me, is that they are threatened by me because I'm not a follower. There are certain people who try to bully everybody and I don't allow anybody to bully me. I also think it is funny that anyone would say I can't compete because of my age. That is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard of. I don't think there is anything I can't do now that I could do in my 20s. I'm stronger than I've ever been.
CB: What have you been working on recently and when are we going to see you on TV again?
Beth: I'm in the next challenge : Gauntlet 2. It's veterans vs. the rookies. I'm sure everyone can figure out which team I'm on.
CB: Tell us something about Beth that we shouldn't know. Share your secrets...
Beth: I don't know... What should I say? Well, I am a hopeless romantic...
CB: Are you single and what do you look for in a relationship?
Beth: I’m dating, but I would also classify myself as single. I'm attracted to very confident men who are loyal, loving, affectionate and can make me laugh.
CB: Does such a man exist?
Beth: Ask me later...